The Silver Chain
by Kitarin
Summary: What binds two people together? BxG


_ ~ For Ban-chan ~   
  
  
Quiet falls behind goodbye  
And I'm left within the endless only I  
Holy echoes of your voice  
Chant in unison of love's rejoice  
Singing to me  
Singing to me  
I am with you even when I am without you  
From afar I feel everything about you  
Be still and you will feel my arms around you  
For I am with you even when I am without you  
  
With You Without You ~ Amy Carol Webb  
_   
  
  
Ginji's laughter could be heard bubbling and floating through the humid haze of the summer night, drifting between the shadows of trees blocking the lamplight as he wished the last of his friends a safe journey home. Turning his face up to the sky, he gazed in awed wonder at how bright the stars seemed tonight - though it was possible that their closeness was more the result of too much to drink than some scientific alteration of space itself. Several fireflies flickered across his vision and he jumped back with a grin before turning to dash up the stairs into the townhouse.   
  
In the living room, Ban was quietly collecting plates and cups and carrying them to the kitchen, debating over whether he was going to say another word at all tonight.   
  
"Ban-chan!" Ginji exclaimed breathlessly as he fairly danced into the kitchen, one hand wound into several strands of shiny beads around his neck. "Everyone's gone now..." When Ban didn't reply or even turn around, Ginji wrapped arms around him from behind and continued to gush. "Tonight was so much fun! I'm so happy!"   
  
"Get off," Ban grumbled, shrugging off Ginji's embrace. "Can't you see I'm trying to clean up the mess you all made?"   
  
"I'm sorry, do you want some help?" Ginji offered, looking around the kitchen. Truthfully, he kind of wished they could just leave it until the morning, and he could instead get Ban to come and sit with him for awhile, maybe even outside under the stars. When again he got silence as an answer, he tried to lean around Ban where he stood at the sink to see his face, tugging on his shirt sleeve with one hand. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?"   
  
"You're annoying me. I'm annoyed," he snapped, turning slightly to face Ginji.   
  
Ginji's face fell a little and he stepped back, letting go of Ban's sleeve. "Didn't you... have fun tonight?"   
  
"No."   
  
"But...but why? Our friends...."   
  
"_Your_ friends, Ginji... they're not mine," Ban snapped, setting the last dish on the counter to dry. He turned to head back to the living room and Ginji followed at his heels, his eyes full of confusion. "They're not _my_ friends, they've never been _my_ friends."   
  
"But Ban-chan," Ginji protested, watching as his partner collected empty bowls and stacked them in one hand. He made an attempt to help by picking up an empty bowl himself, but he just stood there momentarily at a loss for words. "They... they want to be your friends too, I know it!"   
  
"Bullshit." Ban knew he was probably hurting Ginji more with every word he uttered, but once started, he couldn't seem to help himself, and he brushed past his partner to dump the bowls in the sink, turning to face him with an accusatory glare when once again, he followed. "They love _you_, Ginji... everybody loves you. Everywhere we go, everything we do, everyone falls all over you... everyone gives you things and half of them still revere you as some sort of..."   
  
"Don't say it, Ban-chan," Ginji cut in, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. His hands fumbled with the beads around his neck and he pulled off a strand, a bright sparkly silver length, and held them out to Ban. "Do you want some of my beads, Ban-chan? You can have some - all of them - I don't mind! You could have anything of mine, anytime!"   
  
"And that makes it even worse!" he practically snarled, one hand lashing out to hit the beads, snapping them and sending them skittering across the kitchen floor to crash into a wall. "You love them all back! And with all of them to do things for you, give things to you... I don't know why you bother with me. I can't do anything for you that someone hasn't already beaten me to."   
  
Ginji was quite nearly in tears now as his eyes flickered over to the broken beads. "How can you say that, Ban-chan? How..."   
  
"You don't need me, Ginji... you never have. I know how worthless I am, and watching and knowing how wonderful you are... just makes me feel more like shit. Because I'm not."   
  
"You are!" It was a feeble reply, but tears were now running openly down Ginji's face. He wasn't sure what he hated more - Ban's insistence that he was worthless... or the idea that Ginji didn't need him. "Ban-chan..." he reached out a hand again, but Ban turned away, wouldn't even look at him.   
  
"Why don't you go run and cry to your friends about what an asshole I am."   
  
"Ban-chan..."   
  
"GO! I don't want to even look at you right now."   
  
Ginji stood in silent defeat for a long moment, and then with one strangled sob, he turned and raced out of the townhouse, down the stairs and onto the street.   
  
*******   
  
"Ginji-san?"   
  
"Kazu-chan..." Ginji replied dully as he stood in the doorway of his friend's apartment. "I'm sorry if I woke you or Juubei..."   
  
Kazuki studied Ginji briefly before stepping aside to let him in. "Juubei's asleep... and you know what a night owl I am." Ginji didn't say anything, but stood in the middle of the room until Kazuki finally pointed at the sofa. "Sit... I'll make tea."   
  
"I'm sorry..." Ginji murmured softly when he returned with two warm teacups and handed one to his former emperor before having a seat beside him.   
  
"Saa... you never need to apologize for coming by, Ginji..." Kazuki sipped at his tea, watching Ginji's empty expression as he gazed down into his own without actually drinking it. "Something's upset you..."   
  
Ginji looked up, his eyes red and his expression vague. "Eeto... it's not... it'll pass, in time..."   
  
Reaching out to touch gentle fingers to Ginji's cheek, Kazuki's words were soft. "But until it does, it upsets you. There is perhaps little I can do, but...sometimes just talking helps, you know, and I'm always willing to listen."   
  
"Ban-chan..." Ginji started and immediately choked up and shivered, nearly dropping his teacup in the process.   
  
Kazuki frowned and reached to take the cup, setting it down on the coffee table before reaching to take Ginji's hands between his own. For all that the Get Backers were an inseparable duo that needed each other and relied on each other... sometimes Kazuki just wanted to snap a thread right between Midou Ban's blue eyes and tell him to wake up. "Talk to me, Ginji..."   
  
And so the words tumbled out one by one for every tear until Ginji was silent again. Kazuki sighed, drawing Ginji closer until his friend's head rested on his shoulder. "You know he doesn't mean it."   
  
"But what can I do, Kazu-chan? I can't make him talk to people and get to know them... I know how wonderful he is, but he doesn't show that to everyone else. No one ever sees him smile the way I do... no one ever hears that soft laugh he has when something's really touched him. No one knows his heart like I do... I just don't know... Should I try and make people like me less so Ban-chan doesn't feel so bad?"   
  
Kazuki couldn't help but laugh softly at this idea and he hugged Ginji a little tighter. "I don't think that's really possible."   
  
"Sometimes... sometimes when he gets like this...I do start to wonder if he's right. Not the him being worthless part - I know that's not true - but... the me not needing him. And... and maybe him not needing me either."   
  
"And you really think that's true?"   
  
Ginji closed his eyes, thinking, drifting, remembering... the before and the now. The empty nights on rooftops versus the quiet comfort of driving around the city at midnight in the Ladybug, listening to the radio and drinking a chocolate milkshake, watching as Ban flicked cigarette ashes out the window and then leaned over to ruffle his hair-- "It can't be true..." he whispered.   
  
"I could tell you, Ginji... that you're welcome here at anytime, for any reason. And I could add that I'm not the only one of your friends who would tell you that... but I also know that it won't make you happy and it won't solve the problem."   
  
"I'm not sure anything can..." He lifted his head from Kazuki's shoulder and rubbed at his eyes. "I can't change who I am... and I can't change who Ban-chan is... and I don't think I'd want to, because then we wouldn't be us."   
  
"I think..." Kazuki started, reaching out to brush away a stray tear on Ginji's cheek. "That Midou-san is desperately afraid of losing you."   
  
"That's silly!" Ginji shook his head in disbelief. "I... I'm always afraid of losing him. I mean, he came and pulled me out of the darkness, rescued me, led me away like in one of those stories..."   
  
"Fairytales," Kazuki supplied with a small smile.   
  
"And I always worry that one day he'll get sick of me and dump me back where he found me..."   
  
"Ginji..." Reaching up until Ginji's face was cupped between his hands, Kazuki leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "You forget too easily that while Midou-san may be your light... you are also his, and doubtless he thinks much the same of you and what you've done for him. Really, I would laugh if it wasn't so sad... at just how similar you two can be in your differences."   
  
Letting these words roll around in his mind, Ginji nodded slowly. "I was going to ask if I could stay here tonight, but..."   
  
Kazuki let go of Ginji and rose to his feet, picking up the two cups of now cooled tea. "Only you can decide if you're willing to reach out beyond that fear again... I'm not sure he is." Leaving Ginji to ponder his decision, Kazuki carried the teacups into the kitchen. When he returned, Ginji was standing by the door, once again toying with the beads around his neck. "I'll see you soon, Ginji-san," Kazuki smiled, lifting one hand.   
  
Ginji walked the streets for a long time after leaving Kazuki's house, letting his mind carefully roll over all of the memories between he and Ban - not so much because he needed to convince himself of anything, but simply because they were comforting. The lights were out in the townhouse when Ginji finally returned, and he wasn't even sure Ban was home until he stepped quietly into their bedroom.   
  
Sprawled almost diagonally across the bed, Ban seemed much more at peace while asleep. The window was open to the night breeze, and a shaft of moonlight outlined his face and caught on something that sparkled as Ginji moved towards him. Slipping out of his clothes and into the bed, Ginji lay on his side, gazing down at his partner, and with one tentative hand, he reached out to run a finger along the silver beads around Ban's neck, knotted where they had been broken and now left to rest over his heart.   
  
Ban had woken the instant Ginji slipped into the bed, but it was not until his partner's hand came to rest over the knot that he let his eyes slide open, the smallest hint of a smile coming to his face. Ginji blinked in surprise and made to withdraw his hand, but Ban caught it in his own, bringing it to his mouth to kiss the palm. The surprise on Ginji's face melted into a smile as Ban looped an arm around him, tugging Ginji close until his head fell to rest where the knot had previously been, the beads slipping to the side until they caught in Ginji's hand.   
  
"You came back," Ban whispered against his hair, more vulnerable in his half-asleep state than he normally chose to show.   
  
"You waited for me," Ginji murmured in reply.   
  
And there were no apologies or explanations - no other words as Ban kissed Ginji softly but possessively - for theirs are two hearts bound by more than fear or need. Even if the words are not spoken, each knows the other's love and the silver chain brings them back to each other again. 


End file.
